You know the saying, “Don’t quit your day job?” Well, I didn’t listen!
Last week I notified my employer that I would be leaving my current position mid-May. It is a good paying, good benefits county job but I was not enjoying it. It was to the point that I was annoyed, with anything and everything.
I was burnt out.
I have been noticing this for awhile and at first thought I simply needed an attitude adjustment. I was definitely focusing on the negative and once you start thinking negative thoughts it is hard to go back from that.
I worked on my attitude and it still hadn’t gotten better. I was depressed. I felt like I was wasting this gift of life. I didn’t feel like going to this job day in and day out and leaving Scarlett with a baby sitter all day was God’s purpose for me. In all honesty I still don’t know WHAT his purpose is for me but now I will be able to explore that and find out!
My husband has given me a gift. He could tell I was struggling and told me one day he had never seen me so low. Something clearly had to change.
Should of Had a v8
A few weeks ago I was speaking with another Veteran Service Officer about a case I had to get her opinion on. She is also a dear friend so we started chatting about life in general as well. I told her what was going on and she hit the nail on the head, “You’re burnt out.” I hadn’t given it an actual name at this point but once she said it I knew she was right. Can you come back from burn out? She felt that it could be very difficult to do, especially in our line of work, VSO’s put their hearts into every claim to help their Veterans. She asked if I had thought of doing anything else. We had a discussion on this and she ended with, “Sometimes you just have to take a leap of faith.”
Later that evening Scarlett and I were watching Harrison Ford in “Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade.” He is trying to cross the canyon to reach the Holy Grail and realizes he has to take a leap of faith. Scarlett asked me what that meant, “Sometimes we just have to trust God and go for it.”
It was almost like a physical smack upside my head, like those old, “Should of had a V8” commercials! OK God, I get it, I heard it!
Now, you hear of people all the time who say God gave them a sign. Well, I have never been one of those people. Yes, he clearly helped me make some wonderful decisions but I never felt like he was truly talking to me so clearly until this. I believe God makes things work out but I also believe he wants you to help yourself and not make dumb decisions and expect him to clean up your mess. With that, I do not have a plan. I am taking the summer to spend with Scarlett, take her exploring and enjoy being with her. We will see where we go from there. Coby truly believes something good will come from this. I hope so. He listens to a lot of motivational speakers which has been awesome for him and his business, I hope it works out for me too.
Now that my resignation has been made public everyone is asking me what I am doing, where am I going? I have no idea, but I am excited for the possibilities. I haven’t felt that in awhile.